I've always had a feeling I wouldn't be here much past the age of 25. However, I think some of that may have to do with the strong desire that I don't want to be here past that.. when I think about living to an old age here I get very upset & feel like giving up. I've done a lot of awful things to people in the past & I'm trying to become a better person.. I would like to leave behind good memories while I still have the chance.