|
Hi ste20man
Here is my two cents.
Congratulations. You finally reached the point of surrender where you were willing to let go of small personality and surrender to something greater. And that something greater was not something strange and external but your own true nature, pure consciousness resting in limitless Being.
This may initially seem to be a void, an infinite blackness, but it is not an empty state. Or rather, it is both empty and full, because it is an all-loving all-accepting Consciousness. This is what we really are, and your circumstances pushed you to the point where you were ready to let go and surrender your small identity.
I had a similar experience back in 1982. I was doing a long meditate and on the evening of the third day I was ready to let go and surrender. I didn't know what I was surrendering to, but I sat in meditation just focusing on surrender. Suddenly it was as if some vast and powerful Being reached down and plucked me up into Itself, and I was in a void, where there were no thoughts. I just rested in this Being. I do not know how long I rested in that state, but gradually I returned to "normal" awareness. One thing which I did notice afterwards was that my thoughts, which previously seemed to fill my head, were now just like small bubbles rising through an ocean, and I was that ocean, untouched by my thoughts. That awareness has been present ever since.
Some years later in 1986 I had an even more powerful meditation where I realised that there is only one Being everywhere. Being everywhere, there is no separation and no distance. As you say, everything is connected as an expression of Being. Again, this awareness has remained ever since, unchanging and without limits.
What are you supposed to do now?
Firstly, I suggest you give up hoping that your family and friends will ever understand what you have experienced. How can they?
Are you supposed to repeat the experience through meditation or some other means? This may happen, but then again, it may not.
Are you supposed to guide others to this understanding? Difficult to do so when you yourself do not really understand what happened and how.
Perhaps your task at this moment is to consolidate what you have experienced. Aurobindo says that to realise the Divine within is one thing, but that is only the start of the process. Then follows the descent of the Divine into the lower vehicles. It is this descent of the Divine which transforms the lower nature, but it takes time.
On a practical level you say you are going to the University of Manchester. I may be able to point you towards people in Manchester who have had similar experiences. It is years since I had contact with them but they may still be around Manchester or perhaps Leeds. If you are interested then send me a private message.
Peace.
|