thank you for your interest.
I believe the depression started a few years back after a really bad breakup and things have more or less been the same up until now because i didn't acknowledge it for a long time and shut it away.

It seems all these years of 'not quite' being myself has taken it's tole on everything, i've recently lost lots of friends, hobbies, all energy and motivation, a job. It's a dark place and has made me feel like my life has gone down a notch farther which makes it seem like i'm on a down ward slope. Also when i reflect on my life i do feel very sad about all the things that have happened and when it has come to.

This is what eventually lead me onto the path of spirituality with a lot of help from my mother.
She gave me rieke for the first time ever not too long a go and since then (she said she had balanced my heart chakra which had been closed for a long time) i had found myself able to 'fall in love' again and really intimately connect with other people again, which seems like a huge step for the better, i did meet someone quite recently but got shot down (General thing to do with life i guess) but it did get me down. Though ultimately it feels so good to be able to connect with people again.

But this is only very recently and i've only been meditating for a few months. I love it and i am very happy doing it. I hope that with the help of finding spirituality i can soften or even fix these long term problems.

It defiantly feels like i'm at the bottom of the well, hopefully now things will finally start picking up :)