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You're right, I didn't explain it in detail. I did mention that it was to the point where they had some control over the body, and I thought that might be enough. I just didn't want to get into all the **** again. I have made several posts about this, and just wanted to get to the point as quickly and painlessly as possible.
I'm not meaning to be unappreciative, but I've been hearing this open to love and change your focus stuff for a very long time, and I am frustrated. I saw there was a reply and I got my hopes up to hear a tangible action to do that would suck them dry so I could regain control, and when it turned out to not be that I lost it.
I know that you are a new person saying this, and it is wrong for me to lash out like that when you couldn't have known. So I'm sorry.
If there is no quick way to do it so be it. But I'm tired of being told to do things that are frankly impossible.
The stiffness isn't them. It's me preventing them from moving my body. If I go to a massage therapist they'll drive me insane with their molestation. And I'll still have to stay stiff anyway.
I took medication for years. It didn't help. Actually, they showed me they could move my body if I let them when I was on medication. Years later, years after I stopped taking the meds too, it has gotten out of control and I'm finding the go to solutions for this problem all too late.
As far as exorcisms go, I'm trying. Healers I've tried thus far have not been effective. One psychic told me it was my job to deal with it. Well, I try but I'm not strong enough to kick everything out and patch up the holes at the same time. I ask for help to hold an energy cyclone open so I can focus on patching up a hole and it collapses around me. I'm not holding my breath on divine intervention.
I'm tired and frustrated and am hoping for a way to drain them. That isn't beyond my ability. I don't believe in "black" magic, as there are certainly circumstances where malicious magic is necessary and or called for. But I do believe in potentially making things worse when you do not know how and or are not ready to handle them.
No therapist is going to get to the route cause of this one. I need to escape. And I do understand there will be emotional issues to handle. My primary concern is getting this thing or these things out and keeping them out. I can handle the rest. But my patience and my strength is being tested moment after moment. I can't get enough space to collect myself. I get very angry. And yes, I do from time to time lash out unreasonably. I am trying to remind myself to step away before responding but obviously that is a work in progress.
Sigh. Faith seems useless to me because if the source were going to act they could have already. They will lend me energy but they will not help. And frankly I feel too crazy now to even try to make a relationship with any specific diety. I have no reliable way to communicate with them and I would likely **** them off at some point and probably get my *** handed to me worse. I can't sincerely build a relationship because I am in need and just trying to get something. So otherwise I need to find a practitioner who could work out a deal with one of them.
Hypnosis is also impossible because I have to relax. And literally, they will throw me around. This is another issue with my self exorcism. I can barely focus with things flying around me and my body getting thrown around the floor.
I'm just trying to explain now. I'm having real emotions to real abuse that just happens to be too invisible for a lot of people to appreciate. And I frankly can't comprehend being grateful with all of this going on. I mean, this isn't the best example, but you can tell the beaten spouse to be grateful they aren't beat everyday, and it may make them appreciate life a little more, in some sick way, or you can give them an address to a shelter.
I do appreciate the value of being in a more positive mindset. Some things just need to be dealt with though. And I can try to use my anger as energy and motivation. It is just hard, so I thought I'd see if anybody knew or would share a shortcut.
Anyway, I do recognize you're offering solid advice too. The only workable one is the exorcism thing, which hell, I hope I do find a person who is capable of dealing with it eventually.
Well. In any case. The faith bit and the positive attitude bit would make it easier for me to proactively use source energy to get rid of these things. It is just damn hard to maintain. Impossible not to break down. Hard to stay grounded enough to be reasonable when broken down and getting kicked more. It is a work in progress, one I honestly don't have much hope for.
But warranted nothing else pops up seems to be the only solution.
Sigh.
But anyway, thank you for trying to help.
I'm not trying to be dismissive. Just trying to explain now.
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