As far back as I can remember, I just didn't like eating. I didn't like being called to sit down at the table at a certain time and have my parents watch me eat and essentially trap me in this tight space (sitting on a chair and tucked into the table makes me feel claustrophobic) until I've finished most of my food, regardless of how sick or unwilling I am. It probably started off with one night when I was 3 or 4; and I'm not recalling this as a memory, just assuming, and I didn't feel like eating or was full, then was refused permission to leave and the fear developed from there. From ages 4-10, it wasn't uncommon to psyche myself into panic over eating. I don't even know if it was the food itself and wasn't more because of the feeling of being stuck at the table and forced to eat. There were many times where I sat there for two hours and barely ate until I was given a pathetic "just go", which gets me a little irritated because I was never asked what's wrong.

Aside from that, I've had a few periods of weeks or months where it's tough to swallow food. I don't know if there's a relation to the above, unless an 8 year old kid can already have esophageal damage. (unlikely, otherwise the difficulty wouldn't soon go away for years) Heavy anxiety accompanies that, and I'm unsure if it's anxiety due to the problem or anxiety which leads into the problem, but I've found that it always happens when I'm already feeling particularly bad or during Winter. (the darkness hits me pretty hard most Winters, I feel God awful)

When my anxiety problems became a daily thing in mid-late 2008, I got to eat in the living room more often until mid 2009 when it turned into a daily thing and has remained that way since. I've eaten at the table and in restaurants in the past few years, and it's occasionally no big deal yet I later wonder how I was able to do it. Fear of eating disappeared completely for years after 2009, and I coincidentally gained a massive amount of weight. (over 60 pounds, although I lost it all throughout a year and have slowly gained 15 back because I generally have felt like garbage for all of 2014 and my two attempts at dieting have collapsed within a week because I don't feel well enough to actually put my full effort into it)