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Originally Posted by John DiFool
[Put this here because it is tangential to the often-dramatic relationships which often characterize SM/TS/etc. connections.]
I guess I personally thrive on the stuff-to me, someone saying something is too intense is like saying that ice cream is too delicious, so I won't eat it (diet issues aside), or that the sunset is too beautiful so I won't look at it. Why do people then run from or avoid intense relationships? Isn't that what life is ultimately all about? Wouldn't your curiosity outweight your fear in this case, wondering just how far the envelope can be pushed? Or am I being too naive about something that is escaping me here and which seems obvious to everyone else in modern society? Yes, in case you are wondering, I've personally gotten that line from some of the women I've dated...
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What you have been expriencing is the difference between men and women.
Per John Grey, the relationship guru,
Men are like "blow torch" - men see, men like/love, men go after aggressively, and men expect the object of their desire to response with the same intensity as theirs. (usually few dates)
Women are like "oven" - we listen, we talk, we feel, we think, and we consider the possibility of a relationship. It takes weeks and months (for some, years after being friends for a while)
You simply just need to back off and let your woman talk about herself (ask her lots of questions). More we share about ourselves, we become more attach to you because we invest in a relationship by sharing our feelings and thoughts. Emotional intimacy is more important to us women than physical intimacy.
The reason for this difference is in our DNAs. Thru the evolution process, women have been evolved to select the right gene/traits for their offsprings in order to insure the survival of their offsprings.