[John Smith1013]

Hello everyone, for the past months, I have been receiving mixed signs regarding to my ex. It’s like some days I receive signs that says she’s the right one and then we should be together, other days i will receive signs like let go and move on? I really don’t know what to do anymore. The thing is, I have no intention of getting back with her, but I’ve always had that feeling that we’re meant to be together, so I asked for signs because I didn’t want to lose someone that’s meant for me. So one day, I got so fraustrated, for the first time, I completely let go, and just asked God/the universe, that if we will be together eventually, that she’s the one that’s meant to be, then let me see a rabbit. It doesn’t matter what kind of form the rabbit appears. As long as it’s a rabbit. With that prayer, u really let go because I want God/the universe to tell me if she’s the right one, when asking I was so sincere and had my trust in God I did not have an attachment to the outcomes at all. I just laid it all on God. And I did not intentionally look for a sign at all, I even forgot that I asked this sign. And then later that day, as soon as I got home, I was watching a video about a cute squirrel and somehow at the start of the video, there’s just this random 2 second shot of a rabbit... it appeared out of the blue and then the camera switched to the squirrel... at that moment I knew and could feel that this is a sign/answer from God/the universe. And even after that I still continue to see rabbits, which is not common at all, I even saw one just resting on the grass in front of a store, and that’s really rare. And also I keep hearing this song on the radio over and over again, and one day it even randomly started playing in my pocket, and one line really reasonates with me, it talks about how this guy went on the last flight last night to see the girl. Me and my ex lives in different cities and sometimes I really do have the urge to just go and find her. But things are so complicated I cant just take off and go see her. I don’t even have the money. And most importantly - I don’t even know where she lives now. Ever since the break up she has completely cut off all contact with me and she basically has no updates on any of her social media so I don’t even know what the heck is going on in her life. But I always wanted to really fix things between us and that was exactly what that song is about. I felt like it was just speaking exactly my feelings and the things I wanna do! But then sometimes I would receive little signs and when I look up the meaning it says that I should let go of people that are dragging me down, which is what she’s doing to me, but I don’t know if these sign interpretations on the web are legit? I still have that feeling that she’s the one as MUCH as I hate her. We have so many problems between us. And als another crazy thing! I also started seeing ALL kinds signs about marriage EVERYWHERE! One day even an lady and her son ce knocking to my front door, reading me verses from the Bible about how to make marriage work. That the man should love his wife deeply. And they said that they later would come by to talk about communications between children and parents. (I’m not a children of course haha but children as in, you know, parent’s kids. That’s the only words you can use) and they didn’t come back at all. I had a feeling that God just wanted me to see this verse for some reason. I have NEVER had anyone come knocking on my door to talk about marriage with me before. This is a first. And what’s crazy is that we are selling our house and it has a for sale sign on it, yet they still came inside, somehow knowing that I’m still living inside. And last of all I do see all kinds of signs about her. And I’m not even looking for it. They just come up to me themselves. One of the guy at work loves to burst out the name of a movie “you got mail” for some reason, he just randomly says it out loud at random times. Especially when I’m near him. And that’s the movie my ex really liked and even shared with me.
So what do you guys think? I did ask myself and used my intuition on the meaning of these signs, and I have a feeling that it means I should not give her up. But i can’t really pinpoint it because as of right now, nothing is happening and things are going absolute nowhere between us. And also a reason I’m writing this post is because it’s DRIVING ME CRAZY! I need an answer right now, I need to know what’s going on because I keep making bad assumptions about her and the breakup is driving me crazy. Everything ended so quickly and there’s gotta be more to this. I can’t just let go and move on. I know I’m not supposed to do that. It’s jsutnanfeeling. But I need an answer, I want all this to make sense because it’s just too much for me and it’s killing me. I know a lot of you say be patient, what will happen will happen at the right time. But I don’t have the heart to wait, do you guys understand me? I feel suffocated and I need something to happen because it’s killing me.
If anyone of you are going to say unhelpful things like, it’s because I keep thinking about her. Fact: I don’t wanna think about her and I don’t because most of the times I’m busy. But when I’m seeing these signs I know they have came up to me with a MEANING.

Oh and I have been given a lot of signs about how I should learn how to love, even the people around me say that, what I’m thinking might be happening is that God wants me to learn how to love, and maybe there’s can be another shot. But I’m so mad at her I can’t even imagine how we will be together again. And I also prayed to God/the universe to show me something about her, I wanna know what’s going on in her life since she’s completely quiet on social media, and that prayer did get answered, I can occasionally see what music she’s been listening to. Lol. And I also told God that I wanna know she deserves my love, I want some sort of answer to all this, I want an explanation to make me feel better in the meanwhile. But that hasn’t happened yet.

Another thing is, we’ve broken up for awhile, but back in May, I just randomly started thinking about her again LIKE CRAZY. And no it’s not even because I miss her or because she’s my ex, ever since the break up I completely stopped thinking about her like I used to, she was worthless to me. But back in May the thoughts just started pouring in like crazy, and until now she’s still heavily in my mind, I can’t evens stop it. What’s interesting is that, at the same time back in May, I went on one of her social media pages, and saw that she has secretly subscribed to me. I don’t know when that happened, but I know it was after April. And although it might be an automatically system operation, but there’s no coincidences. Just when she started popping into my mind and then I see this? I should tell you before I saw that I also asked God for a sign that if there’s still hope and that she misses me too. And also could that mean that the reason I’m all of a sudden can’t stop thinking about her is because she’s thinking about me too? Hence the sign.

Please help me out guys, everyday it’s just killing me with the situation I’m in. I wanna find peace. I prayed to God that show me something that can ease me up while I learn to love and be a better man in the mean time, but nothing has come up. I guess I wanna know that she deserves my love before I start doing these. So I’m really stuck. I know I have my faults in the relationship but still, I wanna make sure she really deserves it. I don’t really know how to put it, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that the breakup ended so quickly I want some sort of a sign as an explanation before I can move on in my spiritual journey of becoming a better person, knows how to love etc. I did treat her badly sometimes but it’s not like she always acted right. I don’t know why more. I guess I’m so confused and annoyed with the relationship I just want an answer from God for some clarity. I wanna make sense if the relationship before I do anything. I wanna know I’m hexing in the right direction.

Thank you so much for reading all this guys, just had to get it off my chest.
One thing I know for sure though, it’s that I definitely need to be alone and learn from my mistakes and become a better person. Also to know how to love. But I also really want some comfort from God to please have things make sense for me.

I keep writing really bad things about her on social media and every time I do that, I see all kinds of signs warning me that to watch the way I speak, as words are very powerful and that this is not correct. But you see this is why I want an explanation/clarity on the relationship. If I don’t I keep thinking bad thoughts about her like I said and I can’t control but to write unhealthy stuff. Maybe there’s a lot of inner self issues with me.

God I just need help. Just please shed some light on this, bring me clarity. I don’t wanna be like this for another second

I also asked God if she’s meant to be, wen would that happen, but I guess that’s too much of a information, so of course God didn’t give me the answers. It probably depends on me? I also asked God if some of the things she did on social media awhile ago were all about me, but no answers either. I’m not sure why?
I can’t sleep well at night and I can’t get rid of this heavy feeling in my chest. A feeling of suffocation. So much anxiety. .