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The question being was it because you couldn't cross or because you didn't want to? Then do we decide our own death 'time' has come and it is not any outside force?[/quote]
I wanted more than anything to pass over beyond those trees...I knew there was something absolutely wonderful "over there" and couldn't wait to see what was there. Like I said, when I started for it I felt like my feet were stuck to the ground, I felt that exact same action of the heart attack in my chest but absolutely no pain. And I'd never felt any pain as intense as a heart attack. I'm pretty sure when I felt that was when the EMT had started my heart again. When I was back in my body I felt almost like I'd been cheated. I looked at the EMT and thought to myself "Dog gone it, why'd you have to bring me back to this!". Bear in mind, if the EMT hadn't been there, there's no question I'd have died 11 years ago. But as it is, I flat lined two more times after that...once again in the ambulance and once in the ER...with no additional NDEs.
I don't think it was a matter of choice for me. But to be fair, quite a few other NDEs I'd learned about the person did have a choice of staying or going back.
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