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Well Miss Willow,
You wanted to know how to know if there's a ghost. Young children under the age of 5 often see things that adults cannot see. Your niece is seeing a female that she thinks is pretty. Your nephew told you about a man in your niece's room that he didn't like. Plus in that same room you say the lights are being turned on and off. Now I may be jumping to conclusions but, it seems to me that those are pretty darn good indicators that you have ghosts.
As a way to check you may want to take some pictures to see if you can capture one of the spirits on camera in human form or at least as an orb. Or do some EVP sessions to see if either of them is willing to talk to you. Just remember that if you don't see anything in the pictures or you don't hear anything recorded it doesn't mean you don't have ghosts. It just means they don't want their picture taken and don't want to talk to you.
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