Hi. Once again I can connect with everything you write. My father is the same ( he is still with us). No matter how big or small a word, an action, children can be damaged so easily.Things can, and often do stay with us all our lives. When I had children I vowed they would never ever be raised as I had been. And they weren't. Because of this I now have a very close loving bond with All of my children and I know without a doubt how much they love me. I cannot say that I love my father in tat same way, and that saddens me. I guess deep down I do love him, but I don't like him . I feel sorry for him. I pity him. And I also feel guilty. Don't know why, but I just do. I would like to hope that by sharing this with us it helps in order to release some of the pent up emotion, because I do believe that it helps, and in turn , me being able to express about my own father has been helpful to me too.