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Originally Posted by Rayden_Greywolf
I'll be honest with you guys....I've been severely depressed for several years now, to the point of a suicide attempt. Hell, it was this God issue that helped spur me on to attempt in the first place. I've also known friends who have gone through far worse. Where is God in those moments? He certainly wasn't comforting us.
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Hello Rayden -
Perhaps you are seeking 'help' (to 'alleviate' or 'cure' your feeling(s) of depression) from the 'wrong' source (one which you 'wrongly' project as being a/the 'supreme' Creator and and so call 'God') or from the 'right' source in an unproductive 'way'.
I cannot possibly know the
exact cause and nature of your 'predicament' - or
anyone else's, sometimes
not even my own 
, really.
But what I
can authoritatively say, based on my observation and experience as well as others' reports, is that 'spirit' (the Spirit of Life)
is indomitable, and that your (anyone's) lack of 'success' to date
only reflects the fact that you just haven't, i.e. 'your' spirit just hasn't,
found 'the way' to experiencing and expressing sustained/growing love and joy
as yet, and that even if you were to commit suicide
your 'spirit' would continue to live on, as prone to experiencing 'spirit'ual 'depression', such that you continue to personally feel every bit as 'defeated' and 'deflated' as you do now.
'You' have, i.e. your 'spirit' has, no option but to
keep on 'flowing', though it may go 'nowhere' (else) if it runs into a deep hole or gets blocked by some kind of barrier
for a while (as presently appears to be the case).
Been there and done that (was
deeply suicidal once myself) many times in many ways, some of them quite repetitively, till I got 'better' (i.e. more
adept) at 'flowing' smoothly/successfully.
No one 'solution' works to resolve all flow-impediment kinds of 'problems', or even the same one all of the time, but here's a passage I recently came across in one of Ernest Homes book which I share thinking that there's a
chance, at least,' that reading and contemplating what its says
might open up some new avenues of 'spirit'ual problem-solving experimentation for you (it's just 'a shot in the dark', but, hey, what have you got to lose?
):
There is a place in us open to the Infinite. But when the Spirit brings Its gift, by pouring Itself through us, It can only give to us what we take; the taking is mental. If we persist in saying, "Life will not give us that which is good," It cannot, for Life must interpret Itself to us through our intelligence.
Let the unhappy call upon joy; it is indwelling. That joy which sings in the dark and dances in the sunlight; the joy of an eternal sense of completion which must be inherent in the Divine Mind. Let us open our consciousness to its influx, that it may enrapture the soul. That joy which Lowell tells us climbs to a soul in the grass and flowers. This joy already is within.
Let the sad and depressed call upon this wellspring of joy within that it may overflow; we cannot be depressed when we contact its surge. Mind rests in action. The Spirit is never weary. God does not have to sleep. Let the one who is depleted in vitality call upon the vital force within; it is life energy. "Perfect life, complete life within me" (not somewhere else), "let that within me which is life, force, power, vitality, come forth." Sense it; listen to it. Receive it. Expect it. Take it.
As this individualization of Spirit takes piece, it penetrates the finite consciousness; it saturates the human personality with the essence of Its own being and radiates a power and reality that is sublime. "Call upon me and I will answer." "On look the Deity and the Deity will on look thee." "Act as though I am and I will be." God—in us, as us—is us. Let us be receptive to the Divine Nature that It may flow into our everyday living. New arts, new sciences, new religions, better government and a higher civilization wait on our thought. The pent-up energy of life and the possibility of human evolution work through our imagination and will. The time is ready; the place is where we are now, and it is done unto all as they really believe and act.
Now, I am well aware that ways of 'the mind' are such that
already created patterns in it are often so self-reinforcing that breaking out of them by oneself is practically impossible - like trying to pull oneself 'up' by one's own bootstraps just can't/won't get the 'weight' of one's body to 'lift', can it?!
If nothing else works for you, I offer my services as a possible outside-the-pattern 'seeing' guide if you wish to communicate
details pertaining to your personal history and experiential pattern and get 'a
second opinion' and suggestions regarding what you may
not (yet) be 'seeing' as (positive)
possibilities in that context. We can P.M. and/or email back and forth if you wish to try doing so to see what, if anything productive, happens.
That too may just be another 'shot in the dark', but hey ...