[M.Tesla]

I'm having a hard time with this so I'm looking for some helpful replies that may help me condense into one person.

So this is what's going on. Lately I've been all over the place trying to create myself out of emptiness. .I feel so hollow inside and it's not painful but it's just very empty. I dont know anymore how to feel my emotions. I used to..this summer wyd horrible and I think since the horrible events have ended I've dissociated so much that I can't bring myself back into my body. It is stressful because I'm constantly hollow. I lost someone I loved in September and that was the beginning of this. Life is much bigger than me I see that now. I have no control over this situation so all I can do is float around and surrender and let everything go while I stumble into the unknown.

I hope I can return back to myself some day. I'm wondering too is it unhealthy to dissociate for long periods? I know this is a spiritual forum and this is a mental health topic but I figured general beliefs could fit this topic in. I hope it's not in the wrong place. I just want to be myself again but it feels like shes gone now.