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:)
Even your apology is drenched in your current mindset. When you realize that God and his beings of light and love have nothing but love for you no matter what you do or say you will finally understand... Just start loving, yourself, your family, your friends, and the people and world around you for who and what they are. Dont make it complicated or build it up to some point that you feel that this "change" is unobtainable or even to good for you.
Just be yourself and be honest and live your life. You are here to learn and grow and have fun. :)
At this point when the heart calls, you feel it as fear because it is kinda unknown.... you will have to use your courage in order to get to the point to where your heart is connected and then it will feel differently for you.. This works technically, metaphorically and metaphysically.
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