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One last point I would like to make, It seems from your post you have an interest in resolving your feelings of hatred? If that is the case the important thing to remember is that hatred is a feeling or emotion. If we have balanced emotions they will come and go with the moment but sometimes, if we are unware of what is feeding them, they can get stuck and be hard to resolve. Without the tools to resolve them we can often find ourselves trying to force ourselves to not feel our emotions. We can suppress them with our will or numb them with drugs and alcohol. We can also find ourselves mentally reconciling the circumstances that led to the negative feelings and emotions clearing the air for ourselves. But if we don't address the thoughts that sparked the feelings in the first place we will continue to have life trigger them in the future when something similar happens. It's possible the reason you are struggling to stop feeling the hatred is because there may be a tendency to focus on simply trying to rid the self of the feeling. If you sense this is the case try to dig deep into your feelings of hatred and ask it why it is there. What thoughts are behind it. What thoughts are feeding it and helping it to persist. Once you know what those are you can go from there in how to resolve the feelings. for yourself.
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