Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Battle00333
I might've worded it weirdly but I think you misunderstand, my Higher Self(who isn't an angel though he is related somehow to them) was holding it. I was the one in pain from the demon forcing itself out, while the demon was trying to escape out of fear of being inflicted more pain by my higher self. the angel who shared his "eyes" with me, appeared to want to get that demon away from me, while my Higher Self appeared to want the opposite (namely drag the demon back in all )
|
So I'm clear, what pain is the Higher Self inflicting on the demon? My impression of most dreams and visions is that most of the characters involved are different aspects of us. so the Angel or Higherself is your higher thinking while the demon is likely your feelings of hatred that is struggling to get out. Possibly a part of you wants to lash out at those who have crossed you on the community but your higher wisdom is trying to keep that from happening so there is inner frustration that can be a bit painful. I know when I had that incident on the road where I became homicidal towards my other driver I was extremely frustrated that I couldn't act on my rage. I wanted very badly to 'get back' at the other driver but logically knew it would not lead to anything good. That it would just ruin mine and someone else's life but that doesn't mean I wasn't struggling with my feelings over it. So my impressions are that these visions are showing your inner conflict between what you think and what you feel. At least what your higher self thinks in opposition to your feelings of hatred. Which is also possibly driven by a thought but we all have an angel side and a demon side. As humans, all of us, are capable of doing great harm to others. Our angel side, rational and/or loving thoughts help us to maintain restraint against our devil side that really just wants to settle the score so to speak when we have been wronged. When we are born with brains that are wired for stronger than normal emotions, our anger and hatred can be pretty strong so we need to engage our higher wisdom more to not allow ourselves to respond from hatred mostly because the consequences that it causes us are not worth the satisfaction of winning the battle. Which may or may not even help us feel better. So the pain is possibly this frustration you feel at not being able to scratch the hatred itch and get back at others. Most of us have felt it as some point, wanting desperately to get back at those who have wronged us but it sounds like you may be struggling to let it go. But as they say, what we feed grows. As of now there may be more of a focus on the feelings of hatred over 'higher' thoughts that would help you resolve the hatred. Shift your focus more towards wanting to find resolution for yourself and you may be able to dissolve the hateful feelings naturally. But overall I suspect the visions are showing you that as strong as you feel in your hatred, your loving thoughts are actually stronger than your hate. It's painful when our feelings can't be answered but in this type of instance it is good they are not. Like I said, I would have loved to respond to my rage at my fellow driver but the consequences would not have been good. It was best I sorted out how to let it go. Understanding absolute thinking is helping me to move past it so I no longer have road rage.
It may help, if you so chose, to do some research on the cognitive distortion of black and white, all or nothing thinking. It is thinking in absolutes and it can really color our feelings pretty negatively. I can sense a possible us versus them thinking style possibly at play here. Gaining an understanding that your worth is not tied up in whether or not you win will liberate you from frustration and anger over losing whether that be at a game or in a conflict with others over the direction of an online community. It is also not the end of the world if the community changes in ways that you don't like. Of course you would like things to stay the same but nothing does and it isn't something any of us can control. The only way you can control how an online community runs is if you start one of your own. You may want to consider it. But letting go of this site and the way you had envisioned that it
should be may help you release this never ending hatred feeling. I think it might be worth a try. Take care.