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You could beat yourself up with the What Ifs.
I lost my brother in August aged 40, a sudden death, but he had been ill for a while. We knew he liked a drink but it was only really in April when he was admitted to hospital that we realised how bad an alcoholic he was - in fact, we still don't really know the extent of it.
He had mental health issues and basically self-medicated, believing a brandy to be the best way to control his anxiety - when in fact it was causing it. When he died, it did cross our mind whether it was intentional, but quickly ruled out suicide because he was actually afraid of dying and always swore he would never do that.
However, early August he sent his estranged wife - who he was still close to - a text with a link to a song called 'the long farewell' - just in case anything happened to him. The morning of the day he died, he texted to ask if I was at home (I live away from where he lived), and he also rang his wife, my mum, and my dad, really early in the day.
My mum went to his house around 12noon but got no response. An hour or so later, after his wife and best friend broke into the house, we found out he was found dead on his kitchen floor.
The autopsy was unconclusive so they had to do further investigation to eventually his death was ruled as sudden death due to alcohol misuse. He also had problems with his liver. All we know was that is was quick.
I cannot beat myself up with all the regrets I could have - what if I never moved away, what if I saw him more often, what if what if what if.
Ask yourself - what would your friend advise you to do now? Sit and worry and wonder and be so full of anguish? Or perhaps do something more positive in his memory?
The Tarot will not give you the answers to how your friend died, it just won't. You are repeating that reading over and over - what answer are you seeking?
Just believe that whatever way your friend's soul chose to depart this planet, he is is a happier place, and around you and his loved ones. You just need to trust in this.
I hope you feel more at peace soon - it is very very hard, I know.
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