Have you attempted to contact your mother through a medium yet? I am sure she would have a great deal to say that could comfort you. I was lucky enough to discover my gift (well I always kind of knew) right after my grandfather passed. I never really grieved him because he was there and I had him to help me through the fear and excitement of finding out what my gift was. Your mother is there, and dreams are a "safe means" for which spirits can connect with us. Some humans fear "paranormal" so dreams are a great way for us to know we still have them. Remember that your spirit leaves your body when you sleep so when you think that you really see, hear, or feel your mother... you really are. Also remember that when we are depressed our soul is very heavy and it can be more difficult for us to feel, hear and see. When we are happy and our vibrations are higher it is easier for us to connect with spirits. My mother had this same problem when she lost her father. My gift actually helped her grieving process and open herself up to positivity and subsequently my grandfather's spirit. One last thing that I will say, is that our own feelings and mindset can often influence how we perceive spirits. When you see your mother suffering it is most likely coming from your own depressed state. I had a difficult time with accepting my gift because I was scared of "the paranormal" and my fear attracted fear, so when I saw spirits it was in a fearful manner. Once I overcame my fear, I never again encountered a fearful experience with a spirit. This applies to your situation I think... If you could envision your mother as healthy, happy, and at peace then your dreams and other encounters will reflect that. Hope that helps.