I am so sorry for your losses. I can feel the pain you are in from your posts.
I know it's the absolute hardest thing to do when you are hurting, but the best way to connect most closely with your wife is to raise your emotional vibration - that is, you must feel joy when you think of her, instead of pain. Focus on your most wonderful memories together and try to feel the joy of them instead of the loss. Of course it will take a lot of time to be able to do this, but it is in feelings of love, joy and gratitude that we are most closely connected with the spirit world. When we are sad, grieving and fearful it is almost impossible for spirit to connect to us. You can be sure that she is with you, no matter the degree to which you are able to feel her presence, and those in spirit always hear us when we talk to them.
Your wife will not progress ahead of you. Time in the spirit world is whatever those in it want it to be, and closely bonded spirits travel together forever.
Of course your wife will look exactly as you remember her when it is your time and she comes to meet you, and you can do and be everything you ever did together on Earth. Heaven is anything you wish it to be and if you want to spend the rest of eternity in her arms then that is exactly what you can do.
I really feel for you and I hope you can find peace with the way things are.
