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Originally Posted by Ailurophile
To be honest Lazarus I felt the same but I wanted so badly for him to be free of all his problems and I suppose he is now.
I just kept waiting and hoping for the day he would be free of ringworm and I could hold him to my face and kiss him and cuddle him and show him what a wonderful love was waiting for him. I kept imagining the day someone would come and take him and he would go to a home and finally feel safe.
I spent everyday with him for over six months and I watched this wonderful little character form from this tiny scared little shell and watched him let me into his world and accept me.
Everything he had been through I wanted him to have his happy ending but he never got it and I couldn't be there for him in his last moments and tell him it would be okay.
But when I saw he couldn't use his legs I knew really that he wasn't living the life he would have wanted to live and now his suffering has finally ended but he really has left a space in me.
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Oh Ailurophile, I do sympathise. I feel the energy You'd clearly imparted, the care given and the visualisation just described would have given Him the best a chance of pulling through but alas it seemingly just wasn't meant to be this time. Don't be too down about it, and certainly no guilt for not being able to be there !!
Personally I do believe its all part of a greater process that is doubtlessly difficult to comprehend and it's difficult to express this but, the sadness experienced could merely be due to a lack of understanding of this process, although that's not to say it's a bad thing.
I guess what I'm trying to say, albeit badly, is that this really might have been what was for the best, and maybe even necessary in order that the little guy might go on to all that You'd hoped and dreamed and perhaps more, as part of a bigger picture that We just can't see at the moment. In the great scheme of things.