Quote:
Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction
This is somewhat like my situation, except I have only known my TF for about 3 years. Our periods of contact are short but intense. I feel that everyday communication with my TF would be quite meaningless if we are only talking about the mundane.. (eg. how's your day going? have a nice day! etc...)
Maybe it's not meaningless to her, but for me doing that every day would seem kind of pointless and would create an expectation.
However, with others who I am not sharing a deep soul connection with, I do wish them a "good morning" almost daily. I don't feel as hurt when they don't reciprocate. But with my TF, if I initiate and she doesn't reciprocate, it would hurt. So I let her reach out to me.
It's more about me not being able to keep myself from acting out which stops me from initiating contact with my TF more often.
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This is interesting to me and kind of shows me a look from the outside into my situation.
A lot of times I'll ask him something, he'll give me a quick answer, then I'll feel "hurt" that he didn't engage in more of a conversation (and he does work from home so I know he's on the phone and working but he does always answer). So I understand how everyday mundane contact may not be good. On the other hand if time goes by and he does not initiate, then I still feel "hurt" that he didn't engage.
So what you've said shows me my own weakness of feeling abandoned and fear of that. Something I know I have to work on but I still can't seem to clear that.
As to your original question, I also think other tf's going through similar situations can be a big help in our healing.
Several times, including what you've said here, really helps me see things from a different perspective that I can look at. When I start to feel bad after contact with him, instead of chasing (looking for validation from him) I now am looking deeper in me to see why I feel this way and deal with it, and not chase after him for the answer. Perhaps your twin is doing the same.