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Originally Posted by ssdm1
It's somewhere in the middle. We both healed separately for 20 years. Today we heal together and separately at times. When together things come up quicker and more intensely, but I feel get cleared quicker. I can now clear something difficult in just a few days.
I know how you feel about this but are you sure about not initiating contact with her? I really like when mine contacts me first, let's me know he's thinking of me and keeping the connection.
As for actual benefits - I'm still wondering that one, lol.
The entire 30 years we've know each other we have been friends, as well as more than friends, while being in other relationships. As teens we would double date (him choosing my date, of course) - we were "together" but not. Today things are still the same. I invite him and his gf to attend things with me.
Always together but always apart.
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This is somewhat like my situation, except I have only known my TF for about 3 years. Our periods of contact are short but intense. I feel that everyday communication with my TF would be quite meaningless if we are only talking about the mundane.. (eg. how's your day going? have a nice day! etc...)
Maybe it's not meaningless to her, but for me doing that every day would seem kind of pointless and would create an expectation.
However, with others who I am not sharing a deep soul connection with, I do wish them a "good morning" almost daily. I don't feel as hurt when they don't reciprocate. But with my TF, if I initiate and she doesn't reciprocate, it would hurt. So I let her reach out to me.
It's more about me not being able to keep myself from acting out which stops me from initiating contact with my TF more often.