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Originally Posted by XalosJuryin
I used to refer to Higher Self as a separate entity that watched over me in its mysterious ways. Recently, however, I have been praying to the Higher Self but addressing it as if it were me. It is actually a very invigorating way of praying. I wouldn't describe my experience as self-disappearing, but it was almoooost like that. In a way, every time that I meditate, I feel like I am gaining distance from my self (as in who I think I am, egotistically). However, I haven't had any strong self-dissociating experience yet.  |
Yes, the world offers an intense proposition of selfhood. It made me much more fearful than I am today, and it felt very real too. Gradually that illusion and grip has weakened over the years. Once I had a 'disappearing' experience or a transcendent experience while walking down the street.
I literally entered another dimension. It was probably what they call in Zen Buddhism a Kensho or awakening of some sort but it definitely had the feeling of being suddenly taken from one perspective to another, i think that is what i meant by disappearing. A mini kind of awakening. So it is said that awakening can grow very gradually or it can be cataclysmic or it can be both.
I also remember when i started meditating and after a period of time, months in my case, I felt one day that something was watching me, like as you described a higher self. A sense of being watched. I discussed it with a senior Buddhist in the Sangha I was involved with at the time and he seemed to recognise what I was talking about straight away. That feeling didn't stay with me for long, I probably grew through it. Maybe a type of oneness developed where the 'I' the Watcher saw the watcher as myself. So thanks for sharing as I can identify from my experience with that journey to some extent. Lastly it seems that this sense of wholeness or non duality is a key question for myself anyway, the question, who is watching ? That sense of you are watching with God, you are one with creation or the creator, you are the witness. Thanks once again.