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Originally Posted by gentleheart
If i knew you in person, id ask for your help to ease the pain of losing my son... I am at peace with his death but not at peace with my empty arms. Its hard losing an infant shortly after birth... And with that experience i will explain what happened. Needless to say my doctors overdosed me for my c-section. After having him, i could see him departing and watched him go to heaven. And when i slept that night, god gave me wonderful memories of raising him because i had let him go and that i had asked for the memories and for him to be happy and well taken care of. He was my precious angel. I feel blessed to have such memories. God is loving. Allows my son to visit me off and on. For christmas i saw him napping on my couch. And for his birthday he was learning to stand up with my coffee table.
Whatever is in store for you must be wonderful. I wish you a smooth journey. You will find out when the time is right.
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How sad for you that you lost your little one. My heart goes out to you and all of those who've lost a child. I imagine there could be no worse of a lose than that.
Sadly, I don't know if I can ease your pain (but I can try) because dealing with a loss and trying to cope with it on a day to day basis in this life is different that dealing with the questions of "will I see this person again, is this person in heaven or hell?". Those are the types of grief I've helped. I can only tell you that when my consciousness/spirit/soul was in that realm/place I experienced that THAT is the reality of existence and this place is like a dream, a movie or play...and is NOT the reality of existence. There is no such thing as judgement and hell, and understanding unconditional love is what's important because we will return here...and we must do whatever is necessary to make this place as pleasant as we can.
I will tell you that your sweet little son is in the most wonderful place you couldn't even imagine (I think you know that already). I know that may not help much in the here and now of this physical plane, missing holding him, touching him, seeing and watching him grow. But since you are experiencing seeing him I hope you realize that you have a far greater sense of spirituality than you might realize. It means a part of your inner self is open. Maybe it would be wise for you to build on this, so if you'd want to do that I would suggest you consider meditation. There are folks here at SF who could help you with that. I'm not, because I don't meditate in the way I've read most people do to achieve success (possibly because of my NDE). Lol...I'm not some kind of 'guru' nor do I want to be. When someone has questions or in conversation the topic takes me there, I simply share what I've learned from my experiences. And I appreciate when others share. It's how we learn.
So all I can say is my heartfelt best wishes for you, gentleheart, and I hope in some way I've helped you.
Peace and Love...!!!
MARDAV