Which sort of leads me on to think about 'internet spirituality' in
general.
I really don't know how many 'vibes' or 'metta' or whatever you call it can
truly be imparted online.
In the attempt to convey a personal experience, the internet sort of impersonalises it into another kind of mass media fairy tale.
I mean, c'mon...can one
really get shaktipat online by merely watching a Youtube lecture given by Sadhguru? (for example).
I guess it has to do with their own faith and feelings in regards, but after spending some time on this forum myself, I also had an epiphany.
There are so
many spiritual people out there that wouldn't even be
bothered looking at a forum like this one and just basically blog, make youtube videos themselves and don't even engage
beyond the 'sharing' because it is totally irrelevant.
Many people ask things on here...ask for help and such, when a simple google search can give them hundreds of different 'answers' and they can just choose what personally fits and what applies due to any constraints they may have and often we 'ask without' instead of 'seeking within' because, as always our own Higher Self knows what is best for us before
anybody else.
So, it therefore becomes a case of:
http://lmgtfy.com/
As I posted last night, I've been watching Sally Kempton and Igor Kufayev and I've also made trips back to Hindu Dharma Forums and there's no 'petty bickering' over what anybody has to say in regards and I guess, it also applies to me that if nobody can 'find fault' with what I type, they just will not respond, when all I am seeking is acknowledgment that I actually
typed something beyond my laptop telling me so.
I remember, a while ago now doing a little experiment...'spiritual forum' vs 'A.I. chatbot'.
So, I made the simple statement (without intent) "I am God".
Spiritual forum: "That's nice"..."we ALL are"..."great epiphany there"..."tell me something I don't know".
A.I. Chatbot: "what makes you think you are God?"
A.I. Chatbot won that round hands down! lol
There's just so much information out there, it's a veritable 'mental smorgasbord' of people and ideas about their
own perceived notions of spirituality and it's up to us to use discretion and discernment in regards to 'filtering what applies' and yet, how do we really know what actually
does? or do we just watch, read, listen and go 'that's nice dear...whatever you say' and move on?
I've watched a
lot of these videos...everything from 'how to decalcify your pineal gland in 5 minutes' and 'get enlightened instantly by watching this clip' (which did not enlighten me) to videos by Mooji, Adyashanti, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Sadhguru, Pilot Baba and
even Sally Kempton, Igor Kufayev and Chris Holliday.
In the end, I usually go 'meh, forget all that' and I go listen to a recitation of the Sri Rudram or the Shiva Chalisa...and feel like a weight has been lifted off.
So, we go back to the example given of Sadhguru (and there are
many 'self-styled/professed/proclaimed' internet-gurus
out there) and I have watched nearly all of his offerings which have done nothing to move this rock from its grounding foundations...until I saw one...and Sadhguru did not even speak whatsoever...and I go 'now you are
talking':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFqMVljpJBE
If anything, the internet and conversations thereon is a good 'sounding board' for personal knowledge and experience, in that no matter how much one
thinks they know, there's always somebody out there who knows far more about a particular subject than
you do, if you only take the time to look...and it can be a rather humbling experience (and forces Shivani to actually
experience that emotion).
After a few hours of watching all those "Buddha at the Gaspump" interviews, I come back on here, laugh and go "yeah, righty-o". It's like chalk and cheese. After expounding the Shiva Agamas on here, I go and look at Hindu Dharma Forums and see scholars more proficient than myself doing the same and go "whoa...okay...cool...what was I even
thinking to try doing that?" and that whole 'not worthy' feeling totally overwhelms me.
Then, I go inside and take a look at myself..."who am I to think I have any knowledge on these subjects whatsoever when my mind gets blown constantly?" and I realise the limitations in regards to conversation and spiritual discussion in the much wider and broader sense. I also think to myself "who am I trying to convince here, myself? others? nobody?"
So, with the unlimited information available, I went back to Youtube, looking for a meditation which would allow my Higher Self to directly express itself...without my mind/ego getting in the way...I found a few and will sleep to them over the next month or so.
There's more I want to say here, but my mind just went totally blank...maybe that's a
good thing, or maybe it's just tired of thinking, talking and it needs a rest.
However, I'm also reminded that in such spiritual discussions as these, maybe it's not appropriate to respond directly to what another has said in the 'heat of the moment' and just go away for a day or two and respond when one is in a better frame of mind to do so.
As such, my Zen sand landscape calls, and with a small rake in hand, I go and re-arrange all my 'rock islands' again.