[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by TonySG

This is my pain. ...
I can't bare to stay in this deep dark place it takes me. It makes me shiver.
I wondered how can I learn to stay with this pain and fear? Any tips?

HI Tony,
This is what I would say... Answer this for yourself...'Why would I want to stay with this pain and fear? '
Is it because of a hope that it will become beautiful?
That you will eventually gain insight? Peace? Love? Feel the Presence of God?
Do you have an ingrained 'work ethic' of 'No pain, no gain'?
People have many reasons to meditate.

Why would you want to experience what you do now?
Meditation is not to be used if a person has deep rooted fears and beliefs
about a punishing, scary God with all sorts of devils and demons out to get us, or...deep seated guilt, fear, anxiety, possibly
sublimated childhood memories of big traumas in their psyche...
because it can get worse!

I would ask you, if in counseling, what your basic belief system is.
Don't answer here , ya know.

Do you consciously see the world, universe, God, even the 'dark' as things to fear...
that you have no control over...as external 'things' that can harm you?

Then, I would suggest to you to read about the boundless love that God,
Jesus, Krishna, Brahma, angels, whatever your point of reference...have for you.
Danger is created in your mind...to begin with.

Learn some things first about the Nature of Reality..creation, life, the Creator...existence first...get clear and confident about this.
Some call this increasing your faith...whatever.

A person can't really expect peace to come out of anxiety...which is what you are describing...shivers, cold, etc.

May I say, stop listening to that particular beat track.
For me this is serious...sure ask for protection and all...but there is more going on here!!!
Take care.

Ah, I see your signature now..battles, brink of insanity , spit personality...I would not
be suggesting that beat track at ALL for you.
Maybe start with visualizations first and master those....Imagining your favorite things...sailing,
being on a beach, hiking near a stream ...you know....smell the smells, feel the peace in that way...first.