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Originally Posted by janielee
Bless you, Starman 
May I ask how you coped with so much death? .
Namaste,
JL |
You ask how did I cope with so much death? I wish there was a simple answer because my particular way of coping with death
involved a lengthy journey with many components.
Going on a healing journey is part of it, and also coming to feel the presence of your own spiritual nature, Knowing that while
you are in this world you are not of this world and experience that in you which is immortal.
All of this stuff takes time, it is a process, and a definite part of your human journey. There is, in my opinion, no one thing;
it is a combination of things. We can switch one concept for another concept, or one philosophy for another philosophy,
but experience is the best teacher. I don’t judge the dead and strive not to be too judgmental of the living.
Coping with others dying is really about coping with your own mortality. Then there is coping with how people die, suicide,
terminal illness, homicide, accidents, etc., and how old they were when they died. How we grieve the loss of others is tied
into these factors and is part of our coping process as well.
I was diagnosed with combat related PTSD, and the main feature of my PTSD was survivors guilt. I had lived and so many
others had died, some in my arms. For a long time I struggled with why did I live, was there some purpose, or why did they
have to die.
Today I believe that no one dies until it is time for them to die. It is just that the way they died may challenge that premise.
I have seen soldiers shot multiple times with bullets piercing vital organs and those people still lived, while another person
was shot once, by a small caliber bullet, and died. In short, I have seen people live who should have died and people die who
should have lived.
As a combat medic, and ambulance EMT, etc., I do not take credit for saving people’s lives, because I do not take credit
when they die under my care either. The whole thing comes down to coming to terms with your own mortality, beyond
concepts and philosophical and religious views. For me, experiencing my own deeper being helps me a great deal.
All through life we are given preparations for death; a child has gold fish or a puppy that dies, this speaks to our own mortality.
The breakup of a closely held relationship, a divorce, etc., can be for some a death-like experience. The loss of a job, etc.
There are many events throughout our lives, that do not involve the death of a human being, that speak to our own mortality,
and those events, if we let them. can help us better cope with death.
I lost my eyesight in Vietnam and was totally blind for 5-years; it was as a death-like experience. I went through eye surgery
more than a dozen times to regain my eyesight. In retrospect losing my eyesight was a blessing that helped me deal with the
process of personal change. We may look at things with our eyes but we will only see them with our awareness.
When I was blind I saw things that I failed to see when I had 20/20 vision.
I apologize for this long-winded post.
