[Untersberg56]

From my earliest childhood I have believed that I was German and served in the German armed forces in my previous existence in the Hitler period.

This memory was so overwhelmingly strong that eventually in desperation I decided to consult a hypnotist. In those days (1960's) regression to the past life by hypnosis was very much in vogue.

The hypnotist regretted he had no experience in regression and was not prepared to experiment with me, particularly since he had no assistant. However, he did hypnotize me in order to implant the suggestion that I would recall my past life in a dream.

A few weeks later I had a vivid dream. I was in Dresden at a crossroads in the city centre directing military traffic. It was wartime. I was wearing what appeared to be a German Army or SS uniform. It was a hot day, and I removed the cap I was wearing and studied it closely.

The cap had a cord of green and white twist above the peak, and a black ribbon with the word "Executioner".

I set out to try and identify the Army or SS unit. I consulted libraries, the War Museum and even asked several authors who were well versed in the Wehrmacht. When it appeared fairly certain that this branch of the German armed forces never existed I abandoned the search. In any case I did not like the implications of the word "Executioner" which might have given rise to a memory I could not live with in this life.

Forty-five years passed. I was watching a TV film about the life of the writer Thomas Mann. When he was fleeing Nazi Germany just prior to the outbreak of war he had to pass through the Customs and Frontier Police post - and there was the Wehrmacht-type uniform with the strange cap.

Things now fell into place. The Headquarters of the German Customs and Frontier Police was at Dresden. I found an old photo of the city centre and identified the very spot where I had been directing traffic outside the HQ building. The current organisation had just created its own website. This website lists all its former members who fell during the Second World War when they replaced occupation troops who had gone to fight in Russia.

I was conceived in May 1943 and so if I had been one of the fallen, the death would have had to occur before that date. There were only 160 names to look through. One name immediately drew my attention. In June 1942 an auxiliary Maximilian Henker was killed on active servcice by French partisans at Lourdes. This name Henker is German for "Executioner". Not many Germans have this surname because they find any means possible to change it. How would you like to have this surname and have everybody greet you with: "Good morning Mr Executioner!"

I am satisfied that I was this person. Unfortunately the Office for the Wehrmacht Fallen do not allow persons to see a file unless they can prove family membership.

Incidentally, my sister who is very interested in our family history carried out an Historic-DNA trace linked to a search of declassified official documents in England going back as far as 1811. She was able to trace the maternal line to our great-grandfather from Mecklenburg who came to England in 1840 temporarily and stayed for about thirty years. And so from nothing I find I have at least 25% German blood and the unconnected reincarnation scenario. Not knowing this in my childhood and youth, no wonder I had this strong sensation of belonging elsewhere and not being very English!