What I know is that life is lifeless once you start living for other people. You are living a life you hate because you think you are doing what is best for the children, It is very likely that your kids will grow up and follow the trend of living the life they hate for the sake of pleasing other people and I do not believe that is the life you wish for them. At this point the best thing you can do for them is to take yourself out of a situation that does not make you the best person in the world, surely as they grow older they will understand and she reasons behind your action. I respect the love you have for your children you are a good mother. But life is short do not neglect your happiness.