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Originally Posted by Elabr8Aspie
Stacey the problem is,is that your attaching to a 'want' a 'need',expectations;longing,labels 'children' 'husband'.
The other problem is,your being brainwashed and driven by what others tell you.
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Yes.. desires and expectations...
'Wanting' or 'needing' a relationship is a desire and can bring suffering, a means to fill a void. Some desires, like wanting love from another human being, can be intensely strong the person does not realize they are the cause of their own suffering. Having other people who want or need you to be someone or live a specific lifestyle creates expectations and inauthentic activity, which are another cause of suffering. It is best to never have expectations, I believe. Not with a job interview, not with a date, not with birthday presents, not with what you will experience during a holiday, not with your favourite football team, whatever. Expectations aren't healthy.. they are linked to desire, and disappointment because we are more often wrong than correct about our predictions..
We all grow up with idealist images and movies about romance and relationships where everything magically falls together. I believe that this thing we crave can only be found within, with our relationship with 'God'. Is it any wonder so many spiritual practitioners throughout human history have been single? I think not. And those that reach self realization teach that one can love all equally, meaning there's no discrimination any more between a friend and a random stranger, or between a human and a capuchin monkey.
What we notice here with Mr./Ms. special someone is that it's very conditional and it serves a biological purpose of reproduction and social bonding..
It's not the stuff of stars no matter how much fancy language we use to describe the experience.. It's a very elaborately crafted illusion..
Not that there's anything wrong with that, by the way!! I think everyone is entitled to chase their desires and have special feelings, absolutely!
It's all part of the game and we decide when we give up on the game or when we want to play more. It is all choice..
