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Originally Posted by ValVan
Year 5, I had a dream of him, and I fell in love with him after that dream, I tried hard to hold my feelings back and tried my best to avoid him. And he showed interest in me and always flirted with me a little bit.
I denied my feelings for him and tried to get in other relationships.
Why did I do this? I don't know, I just didn't want to face him, when I looked at him, I wanted to run away, I see my defects, my wounds and something I don't want to face when I see him. I can't even look at his pictures.  |
I don't feel able to comment as to the exact nature of the connection, but I feel that this is the key part of your post - I know it's not easy when you're hung up on some guy/girl, but my feeling is that you need to turn your attention inwards and figure out why you behaved as you did. Why
did you try to avoid him and deny your feelings towards him, why did you feel that you couldn't express how you felt about him?
My sense of it is that he served as a mirror to you - but what was he reflecting back to you, what
feelings did he trigger in you? I bold the word 'feelings' because so often we try to figure out these sorts of things in a purely intellectual way (I do it myself plenty), but it's on the level of feeling that you'll find the answers to these questions.