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I see you're venting ... It's your second thread I've just read, and I see you're young (29).
My well meant suggestion ... Learn to reliably get into an altered state of consciousness (I recommend self-hypnosis, bot you can also meditate, ...), and ask questions like: what is my life lesson? why do humans incarnate? why am I now in this situation?
Don't waste your life with anger! Love isn't the answer. Knowing yourself, your life lesson, evolve ... those are a few answers.
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