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Old 07-11-2017, 04:44 PM
Soul Renew Soul Renew is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: In a state of renewal, re-discovery
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado
Good post. I think we all can relate to what you just said. I just try to remember, without judgment, when things get dark for me....that it’s my way of higher learning.

Kind of like, when my uncle threw me into the deep end of an underground swimming pool when I couldn’t swim. I had to learn to swim at that moment. Why did he do that to a 5 yr old?

Because his wife babysat me, as a favor, while my parents worked....she had 3 small children of her own to care for at the same time. Every day, while she was busy with the babies, I would sneak into the pool, and I would get into trouble because I didn’t know how to swim....they just knew I was going to drown...there were no adults around.

It was every single day, like clockwork, they tried to ground me in the house, spank me, stood me in the corner, told on me to my parents, but as soon as my aunt was cooking, or with the babies, I slipped out and into the pool...I loved water so much, that I was not going to worry about the consequences until I was done playing in the pool, nothing stopped me, amd neither were they going to.

I kept getting in, and getting lucky....staying at the shallow end, or slipping my hands, toys and feet into the deep end...my uncle had enough, he knew I wasn’t going to stay away from the water(this was in the 80s) and he threw me in, and said....swim, damn it! You are going to learn to swim! When he saw me swim in the deep end for the first time, struggling, panicking, crying and terrified....he knew then, I wasn’t going to drown. I had learned the hard way, how to swim, how to survive, right then and there...crying and screaming at him for half an hour after.

That’s kind of how life is...

Needless to say, I didn’t get into the pool after that.

I did become an avid swimmer years later, and I learned to swim in the deep end like a pro.

Thanks for the share colorado.
I'm sorry that that happened to you. That seemed so upsetting.
But I'm glad to hear that you didn't allow that experience to completely change your thinking of water.
You loved water, even though you didn't know how to swim, so your uncle showed you the hard way, the consequence of not knowing how to swim.

Sometimes going through the hard way is how we learn, it's harsh how life we can be like that sometimes.

And sometimes, for me, I am put into a cycle of heartache because I have not learned to love myself.
I took what i learned from my past life mother and believed that love was truly heartbreak for me.
But I need to learn to swim on my own, I can have good relationships, I just have to understand, learn, and break free of this cycle.

If I want to swim, I need to learn how to swim, but i'm going to do it my way.
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