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I was an Indian from India. I was in a shack type hut building. Inside it was pine looking wood with red fabric and darkness but light within. He looked perfect, I was him but I also saw myself as him from above too, he looked so warm, loving and handsome. But I felt his pain and exasperation! Confusion in the mind that's overbearing. I've had that feeling before of being somewhere and not knowing whether they have been already or not yet arrived and not knowing whether or not to wait. I actually avoid this situation when I meet people by arranging it and checking before etc I hadn't realised that till now.
Before bed I was stressed to the maximum with my job as I work over and beyond my job title for a promotion and more responsibilities which they suggest will happen if I can deal with complaints better, which I have and now they are using other tactics, they take sleights at me and give jobs to do with recruitment that I would do to other people who are leaving anyway. That was just the last straw by the end of the week. my relationship was also challenging that evening as I was not myself and he can be immature which winds me up more. I just wanted to be in peace, I think I had quiet depressive thoughts too of not wanting to be on Earth anymore which I feel bad about. Just wanting to be with God which is why if this is me which it probably is preventing union within myself it just frustrates me so much as it's all i want. I do my best to be kind with myself and understand this is a journey but I'm finding this challenging and I just really don't know what to do. I hear you when you say a new path begins when you start walking one, maybe my problem is lack of faith and determination to see it through, what really matters. Like when my partner was working last weekend my first thought was yay I can go to church for the first time in years, it's theme was about heaven which I thought was cool, but then I feel like my body is tired and I all myself out of it. I am a perfectionist although I see so much to improve, I would define a perfect life as one free of addictions and negative thoughts etc, living from the heart with unconditional love in every situation and being in union and continuous communion with God. Maybe my ideals are too high and that's why I end up feeling bad but at the same time I know deep down I can make any changes to my life it just scares me. Thank you Skygodwarrior for your suggestions and questions, I've been reflecting on the whole thing today and I feel I am understanding what this dream means and what I can do but at the same time I'm not sure what's best and I don't want to make a wrong choice. I feel there is a lot of information surrounding this, hoping it will come to light. Thank you.
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