That is really touching that she cooked lots of food the night before she died to make things easier for the rest of the family. She sounds like a remarkable woman.

Ditch this notion that you’re ‘not worthy to stand in front of my mother.’ This doesn’t honor the good job she probably did w/ you or help you move forward. Trieah brings up a good point in that this feeling of unworthiness is blocking your being able to connect w/ her.

Don’t let others prejudice of science keep you from revealing what you research professionally. It's probably interesting.

It may be that your mother knows it is high time for you to continue your journey by your self.