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PS: those ps notes are likely the cause of your experiences becoming
burdensome. it was, apparently, your intention to provide gifts
(of enlightenment) to the people you encounter in your travels between
worlds... but it became a means for others to take advantage of you and
they've added 'extras' (which you'd been unaware of).
my sense of things is that you can achieve a "full-flowering" of your
urge to gift give [across dimensions] in this current life, by completing
the process of spreading that rainbow light into your peacock tail.
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