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I try to find my center by creating a feeling of love in myself, or resting in the love of a diety/spirit (my concept of Spirit or God is in flux so it changes from time to time). I also cultivate a sense of self-confidence, safety in my own goodness, confidence in my own self and love, and then I return to that. Over time, this has lent a sense of calm and serenity to my life. Things that once bothered me, I can let go of. I can react with much more poise and focus than before. It's still something I'm practicing, but it has helped me come a long way. I never spent much time really exactly meditating on it, but I have tried to practice it in little moments or minutes throughout the day every day and over time that has gradually built up a strong sense of peace, confidence and centeredness in myself. I wouldn't say it always makes me successful or wise in my doings, but it generally makes me feel a lot more at peace with myself and whatever happens, anyway.
When I have the time to focus on it, I have started reflecting on Hoʻoponopono recently (thinking and reflecting on "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you." toward any person or being I feel pain towards or about, and it has helped me a lot. I can sometimes do this, as a background sort of mantra running through my mind, even in the midst of conversations, and sometimes it seems to help me. I think the key for me is to make sure I'm really thinking about it in real terms, of me and the other person and our relationship, rather than just a mindless refrain. So I try to think of how I am sorry, sorry for them, what they might be going through, anything I might have done to contribute, directly or indirectly, how everyone is related in so many ways, and then I think of the relationship I have, my gratitude for the goodness I can see in them, and then I try to feel love, as a sense of interconnection to them, as they are part of the whole with me, a part of my whole. When I can do that, that has been helping me center and feel a lot more grounded.
I also try to get in this place beyond hope and fear and expectation. I learned about doing this by being really mindful, attending to basic tasks like cooking (works best for me, often, to make me mindful). I just seeped down into the moment where I was happy or at least attentive in the simple present moment. I also learned this through consulting my spirits I am connected with. When I asked advice, I got to a place in myself where I felt I would be calm and accepting of any answer they gave, since I trusted them so much. So I let go of the fear and hope and just cleared myself to wait for the answer given. That was a way I learned to calm myself, center myself, see more clearly beyond the distortions of my hopes and fears and projections and just be in the moment.
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