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Originally Posted by august2803
i have birthday today and noticed myself behaving very differently with my mom vs my grandparents.
Me and my mom argumented all the time before but not anymore anyways i was tired, but concious so i didnt put in effort om seeming to happy with my mom on the phone, but after hanging up and then talking to my grandparents my mood shifted totally and i was in good conversation mood!
So my question is: Is this my past experiences acting out? Is it the enrgy of my mom vs my grandparents? (theyre spiritual my mom is not). Should i actively try to engage more and give more happiness? I dont know what to do, i dont want to be depressed when i talk to my mom is it because i dont engage actively that i become part of her reality (a depressed teenage guy) or becaus of me? or both? Thanks��
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Hi august. Sometimes it takes a long time to resolve angry, bitter or disappointing feelings we have with an individual, especially a parent. In fact, it may take a lifetime to see them in a different light. I am a person that has held onto a grudge towards one of my parents for a very long time. Too long. That person has aged quite a bit, as have I. I now see the time I spent feeling resentment was a time carrying excess baggage around that I didn't need during crucial times in life.
It stands to reason that one will act differently with different people. Usually ones parents raise them as apposed to grandparents (usually), so some of the intensity that surround feelings associated with a mother won't be the same with a less involved, but loving grandparent.
I don't tend to give advise on relationships so I won't attempt to here. Just wanted to say that as years go by one is bound to view parents or other people that have caused grief in a different light. After all, a child grows up and as adulthood slowly moves forward and the aging process takes hold, so does it for parents. I see my own parents now approaching 80 and they seem so childlike and humbled by their health problems. It has changed our relationship drastically. I've gone from a resentful, bitter person with them to a coddling, caring, concerned fellow human being on this planet with them and others.
I just know this. The aging process gets everyone and it has the potential to heal old wounds.