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I am absolutely certain your dog knew how much you cared for him. Pets are very intuitive like that.
I had a family cat, a tortoishell calico called Felicia who died in a kennel overnight. There was nothing we could do for her, as she had pretty much lost the will to live after our other cat died.
My mom was able to say her goodbyes, but my sister and I were not. But while we were playing with our Lego bricks, I heard a distinct purr. My sis and I looked up at each other and I asked her if she could hear it. She said yes, and we were so amazed. Especially since at that time we were not exactly the most kind to animals. I cried after that I felt so guilty. But I am sure she not only came to say goodbye, but forgave us--animals really are amazing.
I hope you heal peacefully. Best wishes to you.
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“Because to take away a man's freedom of choice, even his freedom to make the wrong choice, is to manipulate him as though he were a puppet and not a person.” --Madeline l'Engle
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