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I think it has a lot to do with healthy self-love and self-esteem. When I was in that position of losing myself in situation / people like that I was lacking in those areas. You then resonate with those people, meaning you too have a low vibration.
If memory serves I basically decided at some point I was done with such people because it was pointless, and not healthy for me. I think I came to that conclusion when my best friend turned out to be seriously depressed, different forms of depression one of which borderline.
Me being a helper, pleaser, problem solver, I began to lose myself. She was a bottomless pit, nothing and no one could help her but I was losing myself in her bottomless pit. It was that that helped me decided, "I can't do this anymore, I don't want this either."
It also helps to learn to ground and shield and work on esp. the lower 3 chakras. It helps to become less co-dependent, more self-sufficient, standing on your own 2 feet, and better self-esteem. Plus, it helps you see where you end and the other begins. I also learnt to give without leaving my body energetically.
So I'd say do a good intuitive development course somewhere so you can learn this.
HSP... I am too, as are millions on this planet. I've often heard it used as an excuse. But by doing the above HSP is not a weakness anymore but a strength.
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