|
Since i have Bi polar, it does seem like bi polar to me, but perhaps I will gift you by saying that me being bi polar makes me more likely to see it in others if its there or not.
So, you may have the bi polar eh. Well I has it toooooo. and honestly, higher states of consciousness and mania are very similar, if you access higher consciousness, and have bi polar, it will put you in a manic state, and the longer you stay in it, will keep you tied in a manic state.
The highest levels of spirituality are free from mood control, they counteract bi polar. I'm trying to say, the spiritual awakening experience common in bi polar, for me, has become what "cured" me of bi polar. What gave me enough control over self to work with bi polar, with my body, my gifts, rather than "made me normal" or alleviated it all together.
You see.... now that I have higher consciousness easily accessible, I'm basically guaranteed to stay in a heightened manic or hypo manic state at all times by western standards. The trick is to not get bogged down or attached to these words and the people who support them, often times intellectual leaders of psychology are no more developed spiritually than us, and coming to them with a spiritual awakening can be like a doctor asking his nurse to cure him. It's taking the problem to the wrong person, and believing they are more qualified than we are to deal with this problem.
These spiritual states and gifts came to you through your desire, they will come back to you in time. Have faith and continue on diligently, be wary of the dangers of mind and mood, as they are especially dangerous to someone with "what that old evil energy that is now considered bi polar". That is how I look at it, there is a new name for an old stigma, and it seems imposing because so many people believe it.
But the only persons whose belief on if madness is destructive or enlightening, is yours. and that belief will be part of what dictates if you continue upward, and take the risk of madness in pursuit of enlightenment, or fall back into lower states of consciousness only to arise again later in life or in another life. Not everyone makes it back from madness, but let me if I can, give my opinion that you are not one who will fall into madness. Rather the biggest enemy you have, is your fear that you will fall into madness because of the things that are happening to you. this fear is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So both are true, unfortunately. What is considered the highest states of consciousness can also be considered mania, the difference is mania just occurs, spirituality comes from our soul desires, and with effort, spirituality and manic like states are controllable, manageable, and their gifts available to others if we give it freely. In the past, the seers, prophets, spiritual warriors of old, they were not brought low by fear of mental illness and stigma as we are, think of all the times in the past that the divine gift has brought sweetness with it's suffering and try to find the sweetness in your suffering.
I'm sorry to hear about your sickness, the heightened state does make sickness less likely, and more painful when a big baddie gets through, so when the sickness removed your armor and fear was let back in, you fell from grace.
but that is not something to worry about, tremors come before an earthquake, and you are feeling mere tremors. Have faith in the face of fear, behind every fear is a person you want to be, and these states will come back, and be more sustained by your ability to readily perceive, accept, and deal with fear in the future.
also just to say it again, on some level it's true what they say about bi polar and stuff, but that does not negate the truth of the spiritual experience. It's only when we fumble and fall from grace, when we attach to the pleasure, and forget we are serving others with our gifts and self, seeking to make our self beautiful to inspire others, when you want it for all the right reasons your armor will never leave, because it is who you are.
The visualization of armor, the feeling of armor, that is just a physical indicator that your chakras are aligned. That you are dealing with lifes struggles head on, with courage and kindness and humility, when you feel it don't get wrapped up in the special meaning, the cool feeling of armor or seeing angels, get wrapped up in the good you do for others, and it will continue.
|