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As a 61 year old vegan woman, I have heard that advice too: 'just don't look at it/stop watching the news, etc' and I don't agree with it and I'll tell you why.
We are put here to evolve, to grow in understanding of ourselves, the choices we make and to become more like our Source/Creator/The All. If I don't watch the horror, if I hide my face from it, eventually I will begin to think that all is good and will forget to be open to growing and changing, will forget to seek growth and change.
If Anita Kranjc had hid her face/not watched the news, she wouldn't be showing up every week at the gates of the slaughterhouse in Toronto to honour and bear witness to the thousands of young pigs that go into that place of hell and death. If she hadn't shown up there to give water to the suffering pigs and to give them a moment of love and to mourn for them, she wouldn't be in court and facing jail time for her compassion. If she hadn't done all these things, she would not have had the chance to bring the savagery of those deaths into the public focus and to possibly inspire other people to care about our fellow sojourners upon this planet.
I think we are here for not only ourselves, but for others. We are all parts of anothers 'tapestry of life' and there are dark threads that give shape to the brightest. If you pull those dark threads away, if you no longer see them, the rest loses it's glory.
If you are thinking of these kinds of things Alfie, then maybe that is a sign that your life will not only see that darkness but will also know great unity with all the creatures of this world and feel the kinship that I think we are meant to know. I understand exactly what you've described, I feel it every day, I feel it in my sleep. But I would not change or take away my grief for a moment until there is nothing to grieve about. And that may not happen for many lifetimes, but I know in my heart, that it means that I'm closer to my Creator because that Creator is in those animals just like It is in me. We are All One.
I've found that I have to find a very delicate point of balance between righteous anger and complete, embracing love and it can be tough. I hope that your mother can help you cope while you are finding your balance in this life.
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