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Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
This is probably why you came together, to mirror and work things out so you each grow as an individual.
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I know this for sure. Early on I tried to fix everything for him and he let me, until we both noticed it didn't seem healthy and agreed to work on our independence. With my history, I feared being alone and anytime he and I weren't in contact I spent the whole time focusing on him and how to simply be okay without being in constant communication with him, and could never feel stable enough to really focus on myself. It wasn't that I ever distrusted him, it just seemed to be set in my muscle memory to behave that way whether I trusted the person or not. Fortunately, I've moved past that and don't fear being alone.
I know he deeply cares about me and wants the best for me, and vice versa. He's firm in his boundaries of needing alone time to work things out, which has in turn taught me that setting healthy boundaries and taking alone time are not the same as abandonment. I don't freak out anymore when we're not in contact, I try to take advantage of it and do heavy work on myself.