View Single Post
  #12  
Old 07-04-2020, 02:31 PM
Noodlee Noodlee is offline
Newbie ;)
Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 25
 
I just realized some people have it bad and some people have it good, i was in the middle of this.
I got popularity granted just by my last name and my skin lighted and people were happy everywhere i went, it was like i could choose any girl because they would stand out or feel anxiety,

youtube.com /watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU

its like i was this boy from paradise i could walk into a disco and kiss the first girl and she would always kiss me back.

People liked me on both sides of popularity i was like the observer watching the weather etc.

Its not to put more self worth on me, its just today i even get money for nothing, just by doing good deeds with the money, Its like i am rich with no money.

Now i get all this spirituality granted and wth? i look at skill and honestly i understand today that people work to get popularity and acceptance etc etc.

This has been hard for me to understand in my teenage years.

I understand today that some people actually have it dark, its not just in their voice or this tiny feeling. They actually have it bad or good.

you have to realize that i come from a childhood with domestic violence and had to accept foster parents that lived 15 km from my school, that peace when you saw your 4 year old brother getting baby bottle from a not real parent made me very strong.
I'm strong because i had 2 families, my foster parents that lived on a beautiful new made farm with hunting etc. And i can account for the fact that social heritage only makes you stronger you wont fall into the same patterns your parents did. You learn your whole life. So in my teenage years i was glowing and people were grounded and on everywhere i went, my lil brother also got popular just from our last name by being half american (my dad is from Death valley cali)
Anyways i hope you understand that when i was at the mental hospital i only wanted to help other people, but its very hard to help other mentally challenged people with their husband had died from cancer. But i played my part.
i strongly suggest that if you have it really bad you can get help and actually learn from it. You can help other people on the bottom and you can play with your thoughts in front of a audience (called the staff) You can let yourself be yourself

So keep it real and be happy :)=

I am strong in the senses. My mind is at peace. I love life ("I" "L"ove "L"ife) Ill?

I might be very <ill> but it wont be forever, when i feel the surroundings and weather and feel alone my whole wholeness will be at peace again., When i can charge up. Because i just "know" These doctors and nurses they know that they know that they know that they know etc.
But i sacrificed my old life for the years i spend at the mental hospital, It really is like my old life is waiting do you know that feel? that people in your life is actually waiting for you to come back home. And when you feel a spark for it you will go with it.
Just know in the heart that you can find the sun and find the love and find the peace and that you are pure inside. Thanks love peace harmony and!cause