Of course you have to sort your insides out and do the work on Self. But... once you got that you do long for a counterpart that holds the energy of the other gender. When you find that in a partner, you can blossom even further.
I had that with my ex, he was the Yang to my Yin which allowed me to fully open up in my feminine energy & qualities. Without him I did that as well, but not on such a high level as it's not possible -or very difficult at the least- when you also have to hold all the masculine energy required in life.
That has to do with how the masculine & feminine complement one another.