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Sounds like you are looking for someone else to fill in a gap in your life. Someone who can make you smile, make you feel, bring you happiness. Thing is, you first must be able to give that to yourself. You gotta learn to love yourself first and to be able to be by yourself and still be happy and fulfilled.
This is likely the reason why you cannot get to your feelings. You don't love yourself enough to make yourself happy. Because you don't feel happy you drown yourself in work to pass the time.
Work to pass the time? So you expect someone to rescue you from yourself, to fill the gap, make you laugh and love again?
Why can't you love yourself enough to give yourself a break from work? Why do you drown yourself in it? What are you running away from? Probably from feeling what you feel when you do not drown yourself in work. But if you want to get to feeling, to be able to love again, you will have to face the feelings you are running away from.
Once you've worked through those, you can start with doing things that make you happy and make you enjoy life again. By yourself.
If you get involved with someone now, from this place of lack, you will not attract a partner that will make you happy in the long run. It'll be a gap-filler, but that void will still be there, and when she's not around, you will still feel it inside. Chances are you will suck the life out of a partner that way. It'll wear her out. You have to learn to fill it yourself. Then you can find someone who will add to your already happy life as opposed to looking for someone to be a void-filler.
So... stop working to pass time. Learn to enjoy free time. Get hobbies, friends, things to do that make you happy. If you don't know what that is, you will have to find out. Provided you want to find true happiness at some point in life of course.
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