[A human Being]

First off, sincere apologies for the (very) delayed replies, I've been feeling rather, um, delicate the last week or so

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Uh-oh, this isn't going to be a "quick, jam on his nose" moment is it?

Oh cack, have I got jam on me nose?

(Um but yeah, I think at this stage nothing short of electro-shock therapy will suffice )

This gets interesting because I’ve wondered whether women/men make (just) friends more easily if at least one is aware of their sensuality. Sensual doesn’t mean hedonistic or sexual all the time – its sensations are really the further reach of sensuality. I’ve always been “sensual” (as far as I remember) because of music, my “inner world” swirled into motion by impressionistic music, the kind that captures mood – it has melody/motif obviously but that’s secondary to the play of colour and mood painting. It can simply take me over. (A popular example for piano is Debussy’s Clair de Lune) Why this is so I really don’t know. Same with just being in Nature and absorbing Her moods. That’s where a lot of it starts.


So this issue of integration never needed to happen - latent until the time came. It's nearer extreme and absorbing rather than just gratifying the senses, closer to the psyche and one's mysteries than physical.

That's an interesting question, and you make a good point with regards to sensuality and sexuality - I think men in particular do often tend to conflate the two, which for me is a shame because sensuality can be a really loving, warming thing that makes you feel connected to another on a whole other level. When you're both aware of your sensuality, that can be a really beautiful thing - I had that sort of relationship with my last manager, of all people, we're both tactile types and as a result we had a very warm relationship without it ever getting overtly sexual or inappropriate for an office environment (though I did find her attractive in many ways) :)

Love what you said about your sensual nature, you expressed it beautifully :) Just curious as a fellow English person, and knowing just how uptight and repressed we can be - how do other English people respond to your sensuality, are they generally open to it? (Of course I'm a northerner and we do tend to be more emotionally constipated, so your experience may differ markedly from mine!)

Is it easier just to be friends with this broader awareness? Even with someone of similar makeup? At the very least one doesn’t need to (or simply doesn’t) put forth a physically attractive image: body shaping garments, cosmetics….. You see women trying to attract…then wonder why their emotions aren’t fulfilled with their “haul” so to speak.

In those situations, the mating game seems to preclude an ordinary friendship.

It's a crying shame that people in our culture tend to be so image-obsessed and superficial, I feel, so much of our self-worth is so tied up in what we look like and what we have but that's all so surface, and we're very often estranged from our inner worlds as a result - and as a consequence, deeper connection is often lacking and people feel alienated from one another. It's a sad consequence of rampant consumer culture that little importance is attached to our being (if it's even acknowledged at all) when there's so much concern with 'keeping up with the Joneses' and appearing to be successful and an attractive proposition.

And I've got to say, there's little that's less attractive to me than a woman who's neurotically obsessed with her appearance. Hopefully that doesn't sound uncharitable, I do understand that that's sadly a reflection of the world we live in and I do have compassion for such people, but what's really attractive to me these days is a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and doesn't feel the frantic need to conform to some ideal of beauty.

(I do also just want to point out that I don't mean to imply that there's something wrong in wanting to look nice - not at all, I like a woman who takes care with her appearance. It's just when it becomes an unhealthy obsession that the alarm bells start ringing.)

I was initially brought up in the shadow of Christianity. I’ve since abandoned religion as a tao of obedience though I hold believers in respect. It's easy to feel the attraction of belonging and atmosphere in those churches that invite solemn worship; having as a youngster been in a choir that allowed girls. The Merbecke communion service stirred me even if I was too young to be confirmed, one of the few liturgical things that reached deep. Synaesthesia on the part of Merbecke? I shall never know. No matter, it got me up at 7am to be in time for the 8 o’clock service!


A bit later this was transmuted by a syncretism that gave more scope for self-expression and awareness of the integration spoken of here.

Yeah, I can see the attraction too, though I must admit that I couldn't when I was younger - the tradition I came from was so staid and deadening, and as a result I developed an antipathy for religion generally. I imagine I'd have felt much differently if I'd attended the Merbecke communion service :)

And with that, I think it's time to bust open the Nurofen (and also google the meaning of 'syncretism')! Wishing you a pleasant day, too.