On another of my regular sites we've started saying "Those we used to say were dead....". It's a bit of a mouthful but makes the point for folk who don't yet fully understand that death is not the end of things.

Guides/teachers/helpers are a different issue altogether, though.

I'm glad you found the Modern Spiritualist church network helpful. At its best it can be a life-saver and its teachings provide a base for spiritual learning and understanding.