[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Nature Grows

Not every man is like that, btw it takes two to tango, you can't just blame the guy if you are also banging him too, seem like some women think every man is just a dumb creature who only thinks of sex, sports and food.. but its not true.

That's the sad part, that you or anyone would assume that if you're having sex, that you're just banging. Many times, the default assumption by many women would be I care for/love him and that's why I have sex with him. And many times, those women hope the men feel likewise.

Often, the men will speak of mutually consenting sex but not of love. When in reality none of us know what the other has consented to. We only know whether our own intentions are/were honourable. We only know if we brought authentic love to the moment, or if we were trying to pretend we were just animals fulfilling our urges. As if our humanity, our hearts, and our spirits aren't always present, permeating the physical at all times.

I have to say...I'm glad you're speaking up to say all men aren't mindless animals. But it should never be IMO about consent or the act taking two. Historically a man just has had no idea what naive hopes and dreams the woman may have had in her mind when having sex, hoping he deeply cared or loved her. And likewise it's still foolish for a woman to think a man cares because he wants to have sex, perhaps long term even. The more we treat sex as "an act" to be gratified mindlessly, the more this applies to all...where some women become predatory not because they crave sex like most men, but to use sex for power. And the more likely men who do care will be burned by continuing to assume a woman cares because she has sex.

Basically, this is more and more is an extremely foolish assumption for men too, in the 21st century. So when men go for easy sex, they basically are still screaming I don't care and I don't take you seriously. Now it is becoming equally wise to assume may also be the case for women these days, as well. Bottom line...they may be naive or heartfelt or they may be totally predatory. But in either case, either you too are predatory or you too are enabling the predator, whether you are male or female. This system doesn't work anymore because men can no longer assume they are getting a woman's naive heart. And women are realising that the assumption that they too are expected to be predatory -- to engage in the perfunctory act of sex without love -- is killing a woman's beautiful heart. Men should be allowed to discover their innocent heart and feel their emotions safely, and women shouldn't have to kill off their innocent heart and pimp themselves out just to date men. Women should also be able to retain their innocent heart and continue to feel their emotions safely.

This is why IMO I think no one should have sex without authentic love. Take time to know and love each other as people. Bring a meaningful commitment to the act of sex because you love one another as people and as souls and thus you deeply desire each other.

Not just the passing lust or fancy men speak of... but a long term burning fire of desire. Whilst wanting their best always, equally to your own.

Peace & blessings
7L