It's been a year of bad energies trying to overpower the good, that's for sure. I do hope you're feeling better, my friend
It does sound like everyone's expectations for your perfection has caused you to get down on yourself for not "doing everything right".
Sometimes you need to beat all this bad stuff out of yourself, bring it to the surface so you can heal it. You are doing the best you can! You are doing everything you can to help those around you, and that makes you an amazing person. It sounds like the sons were also projecting their feelings of guilt on you for them not taking better care of their mom themselves. You did what you could to help!!
How are you feeling now? Sending you extra love & light to brighten your day.