Originally Posted by Norligh

I hate saying "since my twin ran" or "since my twin left" so I prefer saying since he changed because I swear he just up and changed. Still blows mind no matter how many times Spirit tells me his soul shut him off emotionally to me. My ego must still be strong because I have a very hard time believing this new reality.

That said I must share a new and very important development in my life. As a few of you know from reading my posts I am told to write a book, that my twin and I made a soul contract that to get me to finally fulfill my role as an author of a book that will heal others he, my love, had to run from me.

Herein lies some of the problem. This book is about spiritual healing and how God and Team Helpers (my guidance over the years) helped save my life. I was abused for the first 19 years and it took me a while to recover although most people saw me as living a pretty stable life. I was broken inside but most did not know it. So anyway. I've always had a calling to write and I have a bunch of half written novels in my closet plus one finished novel. But I've always felt I needed to write about my life and I have not been able to. My parents are still married and rehabilitated and live by me and are in my life and my son's life. I am highly empathetic and hate hurting people. I have never been able to write about my past out of fear of hurting my parents.

This is causing me major issues now because if I am to believe in all this twinness then I am to believe that I will not be reunited until I fulfill my role as a healer by writing this book that will finally really finish healing me as well as healing others if/when it is published. In NO way is it a book about resentment, revenge, justice, etc. It is a book about how we all make mis-takes, how we all have struggles, and how we heal from them. I love my parents and have no intention of dragging them through the mud.

I can be a sissy though. I'm blocked totally because I can't bring myself to tell the truth about my past. I know my twin had an awesome childhood and I know it's to highlight the fact that it's time to address mine in a heathy loving manner. So I finally got the balls to talk to my parents this morning about my desire to write a book that will speak of my childhood. I was terrified but prayed before hand and it all went well.

That conversation was probably ten years in the making and without meeting my twin and him leaving it would never have happened. THIS is why we meet our twins, for clearing and addressing old issues and pain, and while the ache sucks in the end what that suffering spurs us to do can make us whole again. It's bittersweet because this is the third Christmas where I am tending to a broken heart of one sort or another and all I want for Christmas is to know my man, my love, my strong dear soul mate, is my boyfriend again. Instead though I have a clear slate and conscience to write the book that is inside me, a story that I know will heal me and others. It's not a trade off I would have willingly chosen but the benefit is obvious and I can't deny it's divine.

Just wanted to share.